*This was a post I wrote for one of my other blogs, Whispering Shadows, and I feel compelled to share here as I’m still struggling with these same thoughts and feelings.
Do you ever get the feeling…no, it’s more than just a feeling, it’s almost a “knowing” or “gut instinct” about something? You keep trying to pursue certain paths in your life that just doesn’t quite “click,” but you’re not ready to admit to this so you keep fighting against this “knowing,” keep pushing down these same paths and whenever you meet minimal success, you somehow don’t feel completely content or fulfilled. That inner nagging is always there, telling you that these paths are not the right ones for you; but, you don’t want to listen. You want to do what you “want” to do, not because of some inner voice from an unseen place is telling you to. Over time, you begin to notice that the harder you fight against this “knowing” the more unsettled you begin to feel. You start to doubt your place in this world, your unique purpose in this life (whatever that may be). Misery and doubt begin to plague your every waking moment. You grow weary of the “whispers” that constantly follow you everywhere.
So, should I believe in destiny and fate then? Should I give in to these inner voices and go where they tell me to go? Would I then finally find lasting peace knowing that I’m doing what I was born to do?
Shouldn’t I be able to choose rather than have it chosen for me?
Am I really making any sense here?
Life is such a messed-up business.