“The pale stars were sliding into their places. The whispering of the leaves was almost hushed. All about them it was still and shadowy and sweet. It was that wonderful moment when, for lack of a visible horizon, the not yet darkened world seems infinitely greater—a moment when anything can happen, anything be believed in.”-Olivia Howard Dunbar, The Shell of Sense
(*The following is an excerpt from the journal I wrote during my week at the School for the Blind)
I decided I would journal about my week here at the School for the Blind. Originally, I postponed the one I should have gone to back in March; but, because of anxiety issues, I opted out. What finally enabled me to attend this particular week in June? One, a passionate pep talk from my husband (if I don’t do this now, my anxiety would only get worse); and two, Pam’s-my Vision Specialist here at the School, gentle encouragements.
So, here I am. Arrived at the School around 6pm. Hubby and son left soon after I found my room. Felt a little apprehensive so I busied myself by unpacking everything. I was then summoned by one of the other Visual Specialists, Amy. We sat at one of the round tables in the Common Area where she peppered me with various questions such as what are some of my goals for the coming week. This session lasted for about 1/2 hour. I was invited stay to have sandwiches with the others.
I’m back in my room now, in my jammies. Have my tablet (no television in my room) so I think I’ll catch a few episodes of Bones.
I think there will be at least five other residents here with me for the week. I’m sure I’ll be meeting them tomorrow. I have no idea of what to expect here and that has me feeling quite nervous. Hope I can get some sleep tonight. I know I should have stayed to meet the others…this will keep nagging at me tonight. Story of my life.
Should haves. Regrets. Missed chances and opportunities. Constantly self-sabotaging as punishment. But, for what?
Okay, need to stop dwelling on the past. Can’t change any of that now.
Time for Bones.