WEP – The Crossroad

Click on image to go to WEP original site

 

Here’s my entry for this Challenge:

 

The Crossroad

 

 

I believe each of us come to a crossroad at some point in life, And at that junction, each must make a decision as to which road to take.

The chosen path would set the tone for how well you’ll live your life.

Or, how poorly.

I came to such crossroad at the age of twenty-five as I sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the toilet, with an opened medicinal bottle in hand, its content mostly emptied.

How did I get to this point?

I experienced death time and time again.  Not personally, but through people whom I cared a great deal about.

A cousin whom I considered a best friend, one who truly understood me for me.  We were born a month apart. He never treated me differently even with my hearing impairment as he was dealing with a far greater condition. Over time his body atrophied, and death paid a visit just before our fourteenth birthdays.

A grandmother, also a surrogate mother, whom I spent much of childhood with, her lungs were too weak, as my last memories were of her sitting in a chair, next to an oxygen tank, fighting for every breath.   She left this world just as I turned seventeen.

Then came the man whom I married.  His face was like an angel whose sweet disposition drew people to him.  Instead of being his help-mate, I offered only cruelty.

I could blame my behavior to recently receiving a diagnosis that I was going blind.

Also to resentment.  Anger.  Even immaturity.

But, those were just excuses.  Cop outs.

When on that fateful day, an unmarked car pulled in to the driveway, something within me sunk, and a dark void entered.

And I knew he’d gone on, and was now truly an angel.

Remorse and regrets raged as they tore my heart to pieces.  Pieces I felt could never be put back together again.

So, there I was, sitting on the floor, staring into the toilet bowl.

I was at my crossroad. 

The house was quiet.  Everyone’s asleep.  I dared not wake them.  They’ve already suffered enough.

Such stupidity!  The ultimate act of selfishness on my part.

I stood up, set the now closed bottle on the back of the toilet, and went up to our… my bed.

And lied down.

If I should wake in the morning, I promised to be a different person.

 

*Author’s Note:  Although this Challenge was geared more towards fictional pieces, I felt I had to write my story since its title spoke to me.  I’ve never shared this particular incidence in public before, and it was difficult to find the right words.  Perhaps in time the words will flow more freely.

 

 

Advertisements

32 thoughts on “WEP – The Crossroad

  1. You did a beautiful job, Carrie. I’m sorry for your loss and for your diagnosis. But the decision you made was the correct one, and I deeply doubt that the blame you place on yourself is warranted. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you many blessings!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi, Carrie,

    You are a brave and very strong woman. WE all have events in our lives that have angered us, hurt us, or devastated us completely. BUT, how we handle these challenges shows our true character. Telling us your story is the first step in forgiving yourself and moving on with your life. Forgiving ourselves and loving ourselves is a very hard thing to do. We are always our worst enemies. You have done just that in your memoir.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So much pain and so much strength! A very powerful and poignant piece of writing, all the more moving because it is true. It takes huge courage to expose any vulnerability. Thank you for sharing such a significant and personal crossroad.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Carrie Ann. Your memoir is perfect for the prompt. There’s never any suggestion that WEP prompts are geared towards fiction, just that most of us are writers of fiction so that’s how we interpret the prompts. It’s always wonderful to read a heartfelt non-fiction piece like yours.

    It’s hard to explain life, isn’t it? The choices we make…the people we meet…the people we lose…the pain we endure…the pain we give others…just so much. You’ve lifted a lid on a Pandora’s Box of emotions in what I hope is a healing way. Forgiving ourselves without expecting others to forgive us, is powerful…and difficult.

    Praying you are moving onwards in the light of a new day…a road less traveled.

    Denise x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Times of emotional distress can lead to bad decisions. This is a heart rending story about discovering that life is fragile, and we can’t go back and change it. Well written, this tugs at the heart. The mind that sees the crossroads, though, still wants to try.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So glad you won an award for your story, Carrie.
    Wish I could be half as brave as you…
    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Like

Leave a Reply to Denise Covey Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.