Caged #IWSG

“Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage.”
― Richard Lovelace

For those of us who are attempting or have attempted to write our story (I’m referring to the story of our lives whether it’s a memoir or through short stories or poems), something always seem to stop us from finishing it (or in my case, starting).  It’s like there this solid wall blocking my way, more specifically my pen, from getting the words out of my head.

The words are there and so are the images, but I feel like my head (or something else altogether) is like a cage keeping them within invisible bars.

It is so utterly frustrating.

I keep asking myself – what’s holding me back?

Fear.

Fear of what? 

Of hurting someone who I love? Or, hurting myself?

Maybe both.

Fear of the truth. Of finally allowing myself to be freed of all the pain I kept locked in

A writer who’s caged by past regrets and unwilling to let them go because she believes she deserves all the pain she feels.

How messed up is that?

My heart knows I must write my story, but convincing whatever part of me that’s holding the words back has been a battle I’ve fought for years.

A battle I fear I will ultimately lose.

What about you? Are you struggling to free your words?

6 thoughts on “Caged #IWSG

  1. Fear is so intimidating and difficult to get past. I’m working on a nonfiction project on dementia and there is a lot of fear involved. It’s taken me so much more time and energy to write than anything else I’ve attempted. Good luck with yours!

    Like

  2. Fear is the worst of enemies… I know I have to fight mine daily. I lost part of the battle today. An article I read about how unrealistic it is to think you can support yourself writing. I read it and got depressed and wondered if I’m working so hard writing my stories for nothing? But then I got angry and decided I wasn’t going to let fear get the best of me this time. I was going to keep working toward my dream no matter what anyone else thinks. Sometimes I think we just have to decide to stand up and push back against the fear, even if we are terrified to do so.

    Like

  3. I totally get that.
    I could probably write about my past. Honestly, I worry that someone will point out all the things I didn’t know as a child. And people will opt to hate me. And probably blame me. (I did wonder off despite all the warnings from my parents. So people could say it’s not my fault because I was a child, or it is my fault because I broke a rule. And, honestly, I don’t want to hear the hate or have the debate. At all.)
    So if you’re doing it, good for you. Keep being brave. I hope it helps. I hope it also helps others who need your story because they don’t share their own.

    Like

  4. I understand this so completely, Carrie Ann. I suppose I have come to think of it as a battle that can neither been lost nor won, just navigated. And, in that navigation, the words find their way, because it is simply what we do. In writing this, in writing your fear, you are writing a part of your story. It will unfold as you are ready for it to unfold.

    Like

  5. It is always a choice between fear and love.

    Whenever my heart gets too closed up with fear I try to remind myself, that love is the answer: love of writing, love of the story, love for everyone around us. All the best with freeing your story–may the words flow for you.

    Like

Love to Hear from You!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.