“Maybe, life is a kind of waking dream.
Maybe, it’s a double-dream with a false awakening.” -―
For most of my life, I feel I’ve lived in a dream-like state; not truly experiencing things with all of my senses. No, rather I’ve lived in imaginary worlds where I can be who or what I desire, or change circumstances more to my liking.
These imaginary worlds have been my safe havens from the reality of life which had been fairly harsh and painful. As a defensive mechanism to protect myself (emotional well-being), I would withdraw into them frequently.
Until one day, I had a scare.
I opened my eyes and couldn’t recognize which reality was truly my own.
For mere moments, I couldn’t recall my name or where I lived or remember that I was a wife and a mother.
When the correct reality finally set in, I had to sit down and calm my shaking legs.
I’ve never really known fear…not like this.
What drew me back to earth, my earth, was my family.
My husband. My son.
Being a writer, a creative, it is so easy to lose oneself in other realms of existence that you literally can forget to return to your own.
For the scientific and medical communities, these could resemble a number of mental and psychological disorders, and I can also see why some have even been committed to asylums.
I really don’t want to be one of them.
So, what keeps me grounded in this reality?
Thank god for them.