Nightingale #Poetry #Spoken #Poem

This short poem was written for a group on Facebook – WE PAW Bloggers

 

 

 

 

Nightingale

 

The nightingale weeps a lonely song

Its mournful tune filling the forest

Splintering every branch and bark

While shedding pieces of a broken heart

As beacon for its lost mate

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Does Free Time Increase/Decrease Your #Writing Productivity? #IWSG

*This post for the monthly IWSG is a bit late but hey, better late than never!  

 

From where I’m sitting, it’s the 4th of July.  The house is quiet.  My guys are off in New York for another week so I have the place all to myself.

Now, it’s just a matter of getting myself focused enough to work on a few projects that I know I should be working on.

Alas, distractions abound!

The silence is too loud. The house too empty.

So, I’ve been binging on rom-com movies as well as all of the Jaws films. Oh, and don’t forget the Bourne’s saga.

Sheesh.

And the few times I did manage to sit my butt down, the cats acted up.

Meaning, they’ve been staging break-outs by busting through the window screens in the sunroom. And I mean, they destroyed all three screens! I was so livid.

How do I explain this to hubby?

Anyhoo, I’ve spent at least two to three hours of my time in the past three days hunting down and rounding up the cats that did get outside.  Now, I’m faced with having to keep my house closed up (and the weather’s gorgeous outdoors!) for fear of them busting through other window screens.

Distractions. And more distractions.

I’d thought that with the guys gone and my having all this abundant free time to spend on writing would enable me to be very productive.

In fact, it’s been totally the opposite!

Grr…

I’m finding that having certain constraints with the guys around actually kept me more focused and in line.  Being busier with life actually yielded more fruits where with too much free time and no constraints whatsoever have caused me to be so — lazy.

Now, I’m down to the last five plus days to get done what I should have been working on all along. Question is, will I be able to stay focused long enough to do it?

What about you? Does having free time inhibits your productivity rather than enhances it?

Ramblings and Current Happenings #Writerslife

For being nearly the middle of May, 2019 thus far has felt like a very l-o-n-g year.

With at least eight blizzards (between middle of January to early April) which kept us buried in several feet of snow, and then hubby was furloughed by the Federal gov’t for over 30 days, and then the near historic flooding of the Red River (thank goodness it was no where near the magnitude of the 1997 Flood, but bad enough)….

And even though it’s officially Spring, it still doesn’t feel like it up here.  Temp during the nights still bottom out in the upper 20s, and daytime highs rarely reach above 60…

Guess I am hoping for a nice change in the current pattern of things.

I’m ready for warm weather and lots of sunshine.  I’m also ready to get out of the house and interact with people.  These would be so good for my mental health as it has tanked in recent weeks.

Currently, I do have some potential outings coming up.  In early June, I will be spending one full week at the School for the Blind for their Adult Week (will go more in detail at a later posting).  The Fall will bring opportunities to fly out of state; one, to attend a Buffalo Bills’ game (either in Buffalo NY, or wherever we can score three affordable tickets), and second, with my hubby at one of his training sessions (San Antonio is a distinct possibility, or maybe even San Diego–yippee!).

The past several days I’ve been mulling over whether or not to apply to a few writers residencies. The one I am most interested in is at Hedgebrook -located on Whidbey Island (near Seattle).

I love my guys, but I need to spend some time away for a while and be me, the writer and mingle with other creatives who truly get me.  Now it’s a matter of sitting down and figuring out what my next project should be.  At this point, I know I want it to be a collection of essays; just have to decide on a theme.

Next week, I am hoping to check out a local writing group in Grand Forks, Northern Ink.

For me, a busy body makes for a healthier mindset.

Let’s roll.

Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone #Poetry #SpokenWord

Now that I’ve declared I was a poet (much more so than just a fiction writer), I decided to really put myself out there.

By recording poetry as “spoken word.”

This was a huge thing for me as I absolutely HATE the sound of my own voice. This mainly stem from a history of speech problems due to my hearing impairment.  So, after listening to other poets’ recording their poems, not to mention some hard-core loving encouragement from Susan Richardson, I took that leap.

Quiet was my very first attempt.  This poem was actually inspired by having listened to so many of Avi Kaplan’s music:

 

Once was a poem I wrote years ago, but it’s a story I feel is still very relevant today:

 

I may do more in the near future.

At the Crossroads #IWSG #Writing

Have you ever gone through a period of time when no matter how hard you tried to do something, or in my case – complete a novel, you just can’t quite get there?

For years and years, I believed I was meant to be a fiction writer especially of suspenseful (and at times, horror) stories.  I still enjoy writing these stuff, but there’s a growing part of me that keeps telling me to shift my focus/attention to poetry and essays. I’ve resisted, well I tried to anyway, against this quiet tugging until recently.

In February and April of this year, I’ve participated in various month-long blogging/writing challenges where my original intentions were to focus on flash/micro fiction (suspense/horror kinds) and maybe sprinkle a few poems in there.

Well, I ended up writing mainly poetry. It wasn’t planned. It just happened that way.

As I wrote these poems, it occurred to me how the muse had tricked me (by the way, I’m nicknaming her “Trickster” from now on). All through these two months, whenever I picked up a pen (hovered my fingers over the keyboard), my first instinct was to write poetry – not fiction.

Wow…it hit me then (specifically, during the last week of April). I might have already said this in a guest post I wrote for another blog, but never truly believed in my heart at the time — I’m a writer of many things, but the essence of me is a poet.

Okay, I will admit that the Trickster (formerly known at “muse”) had been right all along — but…

Now what?

Mental Illness & Writing (My Story Part One)

“Being different and thinking differently make a person unforgettable.” –Suzy Kassem

My mental illness is definitely not something I generally like to talk about; however, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I write.

I saw this quote on the internet the other day, and it got me thinking about things.  Lots of things.

“No matter what we make, creativity always changes the creator.” -anonymous

Anyone who creates, whether you’re a photographer, musician, or writer (the list can go on and on), not only do you have the ability to change your own life through the act of creating, but other people’s lives as well.

How do creatives have such powerful impact?  One of the best answers I found was in this explanation:

“Art does not show people what to do, yet engaging with a good work of art can connect you to your senses, body, and mind. It can make the world felt. And this felt feeling may spur thinking, engagement, and even action.” -Olafur Eliasson, Why Art Has the Power To Change the World

To create is to connect. And in this day and age, we as the whole seemed to have lost the ability to truly connect with ourselves, to people, and to the world that surrounds us.

Is it a wonder to why we feel so lonely? So disconnected?

Yes, we have this thing called technology in abundance but it can NOT fully step into the role of the connector. While there is that feeling of being connected to someone on the other side of the digital barrier, it still feels artificial. Not real or alive.

On the other hand, creative arts have the ability to do just that.

Through music, paintings, sculptures, photographs, poetry, and on and on.  So, while art has the power to bring people together, it also has the power to heal especially for the creator (aka artist, songwriter, poet, etc…you get the idea).

How does art heal us?

Art and music affect every cell in the body instantly to create a healing physiology that changes the immune system and blood flow to all the organs. Art and Music also immediately change a person’s perceptions of their world. They change attitude, emotional state, and pain perception. They create hope and positivity and they help people cope with difficulties. They transform a person’s outlook and way of being in the world.” –How Art Heals-Mind/Body Physiology

Music has always been in my family especially on my mother’s side which yielded several musicians including an uncle who went on to play with an award-winning Native American-Folk band, December Wind.  As a girl, I can remember many occasions when family members gathered together at my Grandmother’s house for a “jam session” completed with guitars, banjo, fiddle, accordion, harmonica and even a set of spoons.  I was at an age where I was misunderstood (no one knew I was partially deaf until later) and music was something I understood. I’d sit on the floor, and “listened” to the beats and deep bass sounds for hours.

Although I loved music, I never learned to play an instrument (the desire was there though), I ended up singing in the school and church choirs for several years (I’d harmonized through the “beats” and reading music).

Since I couldn’t be a musician, I found myself drawn to words.  Words I also understood so I delved deep in the worlds created by words.  Here I connected with characters who became my friends since I had so few in the real world (byproduct of being “different”).  After accidentally discovering writing (the story behind this discovery can be found here), I’d took my favorite characters (Scooby Doo and Shaggy were among those) and created my own world with them in it.

Writing became a lifeline to the intense loneliness I’d felt.

When I was in college, I took to writing journals as a way of dealing with the stress and pressures that went with being a student living away from home.

In 1992, I stopped writing altogether.  This was the year I was diagnosed with Usher Syndrome (a form of Retinitis Pigmentosa-progressive blindness-which included hearing loss).

Depression really emerged at this point in my life though I was never diagnosed.  And when I married my first husband, Aaron, anger replaced everything else I was feeling and he bore, unfortunately, the brunt of it.  The depression and anger steadily grew worse over time, and then the worst happened.

He was killed in a car accident.

Grief and regrets overwhelmed me, and I nearly did the unthinkable.  I backed out just before it was too late as I realized that this would be the ultimate regret that I could never return from.  Worse of all, it would hurt my family as well as Aaron’s.

I just couldn’t do it.

Instead, I poured all my attention and strength into finishing college (which I did over a year after Aaron’s death). By this time, I’d moved out in my own apartment, but also had regressed from all social activities becoming a hermit with very little contact to the outside world.

Then Jay came into my life (actually he returned to my life, but that is another story of its own).  He changed everything by not only marrying me, but by reintroducing writing back into my life through a gift of a leather-bound journal.

In this journal, I spew all my anger and pain like vomit.  When the pages were all full, I closed the book and packed it away (even to this day I have not gone back to read it).

Now being emptied, the healing can begin.

(This is just part one of my story.  I plan to continue in the near future)

How Is It That A Song Can Sound So Poetic?

Since it’s National Poetry Writing Month and that I’m from a family that’s musically inclined, I’ve wondered how interesting it was that songs, in general, can sound so poetic (and why on earth do people believe that poems can’t be sung?).

Both have a beat (rhythm) as you sing (or say) the words. Both have verses which tend to have some sort of a rhyming scheme. Both have the power to evoke emotions and images. On the other hand, the lines of a song tend to be much shorter than most poems; and frankly, a lot catchier (easier to remember).

So, yeah, there are few similarities between a song and a poem, but when you really get down to the nitty-gritty, they are two separate entities that may “sound” and at times “appear” like one another, but they’re not.

With being hearing impaired, it’s more difficult to compare these two side by side just by listening; however, when I go to write a poem, and then a song, that’s when those differences become much more apparent to me.

Here’s a little fun. Read the lines below and decide if this is a song or a poem:

You say you’ll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbor in the tempest

Caged #IWSG

“Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage.”
― Richard Lovelace

For those of us who are attempting or have attempted to write our story (I’m referring to the story of our lives whether it’s a memoir or through short stories or poems), something always seem to stop us from finishing it (or in my case, starting).  It’s like there this solid wall blocking my way, more specifically my pen, from getting the words out of my head.

The words are there and so are the images, but I feel like my head (or something else altogether) is like a cage keeping them within invisible bars.

It is so utterly frustrating.

I keep asking myself – what’s holding me back?

Fear.

Fear of what? 

Of hurting someone who I love? Or, hurting myself?

Maybe both.

Fear of the truth. Of finally allowing myself to be freed of all the pain I kept locked in

A writer who’s caged by past regrets and unwilling to let them go because she believes she deserves all the pain she feels.

How messed up is that?

My heart knows I must write my story, but convincing whatever part of me that’s holding the words back has been a battle I’ve fought for years.

A battle I fear I will ultimately lose.

What about you? Are you struggling to free your words?

Avi Kaplan: The Evolution (in Videos)

There are only a handful of musicians who move and excite me otherwise they are mostly meh. I hadn’t really been able to truly dig music since the ’80s (with few exceptions).

Until nearly five years ago (2014) when I stumbled across Pentatonix’s Christmas video, The Little Drummer Boy, on You Tube.  Two vocalists in particular stood out to me: Kirstin Maldonado and Avi Kaplan.  I especially loved Avi’s booming bass voice. I was very sad when he announced in early 2017 that he was leaving Pentatonix to pursue his own music as well as to spend more time with his family.

It’s been a joy watching him grow and mature as a musician striving to find his own path.  And boy, with his latest song, I believe he has finally arrived.  But, in order to truly appreciate his latest music, you really need to revisit his past music, and then as you listen to the Change On the Rise, you will truly understand why his fans are so excited and wowed and stunned!

Avi was born and grew up in Visalia, California, a city in the San Joaquin Valley.  Being Jewish, he was subjected to ridicules and bullying as a kid. Having grown up near the Sequoia National Park, nature greatly influenced his music.

In the video below, you will hear the story of how Pentatonix and Avi came together to compete on a television show (Sing Off) that would change their lives forever.

September 2011

The video below was where I first discovered Avi (in 2014).

December 2012

The song below won Pentatonix their first Grammy.

2013

Below was Avi’s final performance with Pentatonix.

September 2017

Avi loved Folk music so naturally the music in his debut album fell in that genre. The song below is my favorite.

First solo album (Sage & Stone) released in June 2017-Avi & the Sequoias

I believe sometime in 2017, he moved to Tennessee to live in a cabin deep in the forest outside of Nashville. Here he would spend his quiet days writing and playing songs. Every once in a while a video surfaced of him. Otherwise, he basically took a sabbatical in order to delve into his own music away from the chaotic world.

September 2018

And then this! This music video premiered on You Tube on the said date below. For those who closely followed Avi and his music, well, this was a real treat.  We’ve listened to the kind of music he sang in the past, and this…this was NOT what we expected.  Far, far from it!  We were speechless and so incredibly moved to tears.  Yes, Avi is finally coming into his own. And I expect him to continue to surprise and shock us with his talent in songwriting and singing.  Oh, did I mention that voice?  Simply put…there is no other like it.

March 22, 2019

Avi’s official website 

His You Tube channel

FANtastical Friday: My Favorite Bass Singers

 

Who says that bass singers can’t be successful? There are plenty of bands with bass singers; but, how many of them are the lead singers? Or better yet, soloist?

Hmm, I can only think of a few.

Eddy Vedder, Pearl Jam

 

Johnny Cash

 

Randy Travis

 

Josh Turner

 

Jim Morrison, The Doors

 

These are just a few I could think off the top of my head. Anyhoo, the reason I got on this bandwagon was because of a new song I listened to earlier today that just absolutely wowed me.  Newly released to the public (earlier today), Change On the Rise by Avi Kaplan (formerly the bass singer from Pentatonix). His voice is incredible!  I believe we are possibly looking at one of the prolific bass singers in modern time right here.  Give it a listen and let me know what you think.